I SOLD MY FIRST BOOK

I'm shaking to the point I am overjoyed. I guess this feels like how a mother feels when she gives birth to her child. I have been carrying this book like a baby and the last month had been the hardest. i just picked the books up from the printer and I was scared to get them because once I had the book I had to work hard to sell them. I believe in the message so much, I know it will change the world. It has freed my mind on such a level it scared me.

This feel like the day Tyler put me on stage and I had never seen the play or read the script and I was on in 5 minutes. Man I have not felt this way since then. I do not know what is going to happen but I am ready for the ride.

Excuse my mess I'm under construction!!!

Wow, for the last for weeks I have been working on a book and a play. Well, today I did a read through, and I thought it was the worst. My whole sprit was broken. Then someone said that it was great, and I just wondered if they even knew what "Great" work looked like. My editor, sent me back revisions of my first draft. She was very nice and encouraging, but she still needed more from me.

For some reason I have always thought that I could do it one time and it would be great. Well, welcome to the real world. I am so thankful for a friend who shared with me, that people can take up to a year to get the best book or play.

As I was entering this blog, I got a call from a friend and I shared with him how I was feeling. He then said, that I was a perfectionist, and I disagreed. I'm a person who wants to put out quality. It was just like the person who said that it was a great play. I would agree if it was someone who had not been trained and toured for over 12 years. I have a higher calling. My friend also mentioned that we all should strive for prefection, however take time to enjoy the journey and use it as a learning tool.

So I'm going to start to re write and set up a plan to just keep working.

Today

Today I am feeling so lonely and worthless. I am living with a friend, I have been moving from house to house and I am tired. I was talking to a friend about this guy I am seeing and how I think he is the one and she just said...u know I can not even expressed how I feel. Right now

My baby has her HEART!!!!

In my life in this journey I have worked with a lot of youth, but this one of one that I was so close. I remember when I first meet Cornisha. Then one day she asked me for some money and I told her AI would give her a job and we grew closer, she brought up her grades and really turned her life around.

She has been in Emory Hospital since December, and today she got a NEW HEART!!!!

Why am I in the Acting Business....WHY

I wish I knew why I am in the business, it is the most stressful job. You wonder what your next job is going to be. You have so many people who want to take advantage of you. I really....I want to say get a 9 to5 job, but i know I will be bored and soon as something else comes around I would quit.

I had an audition today!!

Well, I have not been on an audition in Lonnnnnnnnnnnnng time and when I tell you. I was so out of the loop I was mad at myself. I cannot come up with excuses, because as an actor you should b ready. Well, I thought I was ready, but I was not. The person doing the audition on tape made me uncomfortable. I felt like I was in Los Angles where they really do not care. I have been so spoiled being with Tyler. Now get this, I was put on stage in front of thousands of people, and I had never seen the show or the script and I did a great job. However, when I get a script a day in advance and can not nail it.

Well, when I left I got in my car and cried. I even wanted to just give up on this thing call Acting. It is just to stressful. I even question my skill to even do this thing. Should I get a regular job.... or what. I went to Starbucks and got a Carmel Frappuccio and it was my little bit of heaven. I might go get another one :)

I have about two more months of savings, before I have to get a job. I have decided to put all that I have into this for the next two months and we will see what happens.

God you said, "that you would do abundantly above all I can ask or think"....BRING IT ON!!!!

Dealing with Fear or walk in Faith

Well, today I was watching Oprah and of course she touched my core.  The topic was "The Secret Behind the Secret".  I have read the secret and watched the movie and was very moved by it.  However, yesterday they brought up the dream board, and I went out and bought me one.  Then I started to think about how can I help students do the same.  So I went to Home Depot to find cork board, well they did not have it.  We found another type of board to work and I was shaking and wonder what am I do, spending money I do not have, for something that might not even work.  I took a moment to say that I do believe, but help my unbelief.

I am going to work on a outline to go back in the school and give each student a dream board to decorate and start dreaming for there future.  How am I going to do it....I don't know...but I have faith that it can be done.

Right now I want to cry, but I am going to hang on and see what the ends gonna be.